I've heard people say many times before... 'I just decided and I did it!' That's personal power - the innate ability we all possess to intentionally take a decision and act on it! I sometimes struggle with this concept of personal power , because it's mind buggling how much control we have over where our lives are headed. However, so many of us act as though we have absolutely no power at all.
Here is a classic and relatable example, If I decided today that I really wanted to lose 10lb in a week, harnessing my personal power would make this possible. I'd have to make a few diet changes, implement an exercise routine etc.
Personal power goes hand in hand with self discipline and are both strongly driven by our desire. Desires are not always so straightforward when it comes to decision taking...in fact whenever we make a decision to be better or do better, we are always met with conflicting desires.
So in the above example, I might have the best intentions to lose weight but this will not take away from the fact I will still have a desire for unhealthy foods. So if my desire for unhealthy snacks outweighs my desires for looking and feeling good...it's safe to say I'm fighting a losing battle 😉
As if that wasn't enough, we also have an inner self saboteur working against us.
"Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen." ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
...You know, that overly critical voice that constantly condemns you whenever you stumble or fail on your way to achieving a goal.
Heading back to the weight lose example, let's say on day one, I do great! I stick by the new routine, start to feel like yup, I sure can do this. Then by day 7, I slip have a few donuts too many and I manage to convince myself that weight lose is not for, I can never lose weight, it's impossible, people who do it have no kids etc...that's my self saboteur right at work.
Georgina Lawton's, - 'I’m a self-saboteur – why do I fear success more than failure?' is so insightful as it highlights just how many of us struggle with this issue.
She does however conclude by giving a brilliant solution to combat self saboteurism - 'Self care'! Which really is just us looking after our mental and physical health, and practising a little self-compassion in the process.
In other words, cut yourself some slack...so you stumbled, so you had a mini-failure, a little setback, big deal...pick yourself right up and keep going! Consciously stop yourself from throwing it all away and seeing the 'whole thing as ruined' and then really ruining it.
Starve your self sabotaging ways and see it wither away.
Our desire for wanting to have a better life, live a healthier life will always be met with the conflict of being comfortable, remaining where we are and hoping that by some magic spell everything will be ok. But here's a comforting thought, our personal power will always be available for whenever we really decide to take that next step towards success!
HOW TO GAIN PERSONAL POWER :
1.) Acknowledge and take responsibilty for your feelings :
It's true that we can't always determine what other people will do or say to us. But we certainly have the power over our reactions. So instead of blaming your mother-in-law, your boss, your spouse, your kids for how bad you feel, take back control! Your joy, your happiness is all down to you! Don't give it away!
2.) Don't let your self worth be dependent on other people's opinions of you : Truth is not everyone you meet will like you. I've had people who've disliked me for no reason - you say no way Kamapala who'd ever dislike you? Exactly, right? 😉 That's exactly the point 😊 We can't please all the people all the time and people pleasing means giving people power over us. A good friend of mine put it this way - people pleasing is an absolute waste of our brilliance!
3.) Show Kindness : Firstly, to yourself and then to others.
There is something uplifting about doing good for others, whenever we show kindness to others, our brains react as though we have received something. Kindness helps us gain power. Keep being kind and see how much powerful you gain 😊
You are capable of more than you think!
Wishing you all the love and happiness you deserve xxx