Before becoming a mum, I always wondered why people used to say 'having a baby changes everything'! I used to react in this way - "surely even if things changed, it will all be for good right?" "I mean you'll have this precious little thing that'll you love so much and nothing else will matter right?"!
Fast forward 4 years later, now mum of 2 very active boys, born in the space of 18 months as if someone told me kids were going out of style 😊 - my reaction to that statement will be Uhm, yessss having kids changes everrryyythinggg!!!! Then I'll take a deep breath and say but it is the most rewarding accomplishment eveeerrr!
Yes, some days I can't wait for them to grow up already and leave my house but I bet I'll be very sad if that day came too soon. Yes, I often feel taken for granted, unappreciated, sometimes I'm so tired I turn into a grouch nonetheless, I do believe being a mum has made me a better person and here's why :
1.) Patience : I say this all the time, you need the patience of a saint to raise children! And I believe this is a statement of fact! I remember when my boys were babies and it felt like I would never ever get a night of sleep again 😊if you're going through this phase, be patient it will soon pass 😊 Or trying to feed them and they wanted to run off after every bite.
Or when they started toddling about and I couldn't recognise my living room - still don't recognise my living room now most days 😊 Then there were the "Why?" for everything! Argh and this one, running late and trying to get out of the house and they want to do everything else but put shoes and coats on.
All the above scenarios and everyday activities require so much patience that, it is now deeply rooted in my being. Patience is a virtue I have honed so much since becoming a mum and I'm truly grateful for this. Because I find that, I extend it not only to my munchkins but to everyone I have to deal with.
2.) I judge not others especially parents :😊 I remember how I used to react to a parent with a toddler throwing a fit in public...let's just say not good. I might not have given them the nasty look but I know they wouldn't have felt any better if their eyes met mine. I always promised myself that when I had kids, it will never happen to me, my kids would be perfectly behaved all the time! ...queue the music, it has happened to me more than once.
Let's just say God has a funny sense of humour. My boys - bless them are usually very well behaved #grateful. When they start going out of line in public, I give them 'that stare' which says you are being warned. Most times, reluctantly, they get back in line. So safe to say the 'stare' generally works.
However, this one day after taking them to the park, on our way back home they were both given a balloon from an advertisement campaign. They started playing around and Andrew's balloon popped. Oh dear! All hell broke loose. He screamed! Mind you, we were walking with a friend and her daughter.
Andrew started to cry very loudly, so I asked his younger brother, Ethan to give him his balloon but he wasn't having that either. I gave him hugs and kisses, told him we'd get him another one. Nope, didn't help! At this point I was getting really uncomfortable especially since we had company and everyone was now looking at us or so I thought. So I gave him the 'stare' didn't work! He kept at it all the way home.
When we got home, he managed to calm down and I decided to give him a firm telling off! As I knelt to start giving my sermon, he leaned in, gave me a hug and said "sorry mummy I was crying because I'm very tired". I just felt really sorry and gave him an even bigger hug. I mean, how else do you react to that! There are days that I too I'm genuinely tired and If I could I will cry, scream and roll on the floor 😊
No matter the reason for kids throwing a fit, I feel parents already have it hard in such scenarios and I definitely will not want to add to their discomfort.
So I'm that mum who gives a supportive smile, a look of concern and a nod that says you'll be alright - to a parent with a screaming child.
Mum/parent you a rock! Hope you can feel all love and support I'm sending your way xx